


I want to mark you as mine

by Akiko_kitsune



Series: Make me crazy, keep me sane [3]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Anal Sex, And I promise they soon will, And they're both terrible at love, But now let them be tramatic, Canon Compliant, Choking, Complicated Relationships, Dom/sub Undertones, Everything Hurts, First Kiss, First Time, Foot Fetish, Fuckbuddies, Gay Takasugi, If you read Joi4 at war as minors then it contains underage sex, Jealousy, M/M, Memories, Mind Games, Name-Calling, Painful Sex, Possessive Behavior, Restraints, Switch Gintoki, Switch Takasugi, Takasugi POV, Takasugi gets creative with his obi, Takasugi's foot is always close to Gintoki's face, bi gintoki, let me, they need to talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-11 03:46:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18422166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_kitsune/pseuds/Akiko_kitsune
Summary: When Takasugi heard about Gintoki ten years after the war... That only let him know that the feelings in him didn’t fade away. Any of the feelings he had towards him including blind rage. Maybe that was a sign he should stay away. Keep the distance they worked out. It would be better. Healthier.But of course, he ran to meet him.And even if it all turned out badly, even twice, somehow they could no longer get away from each other.





	I want to mark you as mine

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so first: warnings: underage sex (if you see them as minors during the war, after that brothel story), name-calling (no specific slurs, but a bit of shaming Takasugi's sexual life and Gintoki's life in general), some kinky sex with dom/sub undertones
> 
> This fic turned out completely different than I planned, but since Takasugi is a type of guy who recalls past a lot, here you have some memories (marked in italics)

_Takasugi’s life was filled with shameful moments. Like that one time when he got hurt at the battle. It was bad. Not dying bad, rather hurting-like-hell bad. There were no meds, so he had to grit his teeth and bear it. He could do it, he wasn’t a crybaby._

_The most annoying was how Gintoki felt guilty for it. He should act like an asshole as always, not showing this more vulnerable side. They were still rivals and even if Takasugi was in pain and feverish, his eyes stayed focused._

_“You haven't wanted to go on the war,” Gintoki said. Maybe he thought Takasugi was falling asleep. He wished to, but it was never easy for him._

_“It seemed like a loss of time, we should…” No. Not this time. Takasugi stopped himself. They argued about it too many times and now none of them had the energy to do it. “But then I got tangled in all that, maybe even more than you or Zura... I can no longer free myself from it.”_

_Gintoki brushed off the damp hair from Takasugi's forehead. It seemed so reassuring. That no matter what would happen, Gintoki would be on his side. Takasugi knew. And at the same time, they never let themselves to show how they truly feel about each other._

_“Either I’m delirious or you’re going soft on me,” Takasugi mocked him._

_“Shut up.”_

_Everything between them was all a game who was stronger. But there was much happening underneath it._

_Or at least there were things happening in Takasugi’s mind and, unfortunately, heart. Usually, it was easy to mute, push away. Not now. Maybe because of how Gintoki was looking at him or because of the pain. It became unbearable._

_So at that one moment. For the first time in his life, he let himself be so shamefully vulnerable._

_“I'm cold,” Takasugi mumbled. He wasn't sure what effect these words would take._

_Gintoki only looked down feeling even more guilty. So foolish. There was none of his faults in this whole situation. But he was always taking everything on his shoulders._

_Takasugi reached his hand and traced over his hand, forearm… “Could you warm me up?” He could always say he was delirious if Gintoki would ever laugh about it._

_He didn't. At least not at that moment. He took some of his clothes off. Takasugi couldn’t turn away, so he watched it. He’d already known how generously gifted was Gintoki with this body. What he didn’t know was how warm he was. Nearly burning in the first touch, when he laid next to him. Takasugi clung to him. He was truly cold. Fever tired out his body. But now everything was okay._

_How irrational were feverish thoughts? Takasugi felt like until Gintoki was beside him, everything was alright. So he needed him. He needed him so much by his side._

_But there were no words in this world to express that. So he only clenched his hands on Gintoki for that one moment._

 

* * *

 

Later on everything only complicated. During the war. At the end of it. After it. It stopped being enough to just catch him in his arms. It became so much more difficult for so many reasons.

When Takasugi heard about Gintoki ten years after the war... That only let him know that the feelings in him didn’t fade away. Any of the feelings he had towards him including blind rage. Maybe that was a sign he should stay away. Keep the distance they worked out. It would be better. Healthier.

But of course, he ran to meet him. It was too hard to face him. So Takasugi made that whole farse and got drunk during it. Just to be able to face him. He deserved getting punched for that.

Although, they both moved passed that rather rough come back. When Takasugi moved to Gintoki again, this time rather guided by self-hatred and hopelessness, it went differently. They ended up sleeping with each other. It wasn't a surprising outcome. Especially when things were becoming heated between them. Though, it was different.

They were no longer clueless teens making out wherever and whenever. Sure. But there were more differences. Was it better or worse? Hard to say, when feeling any difference was breaking his heart.

Yet, they both got stuck in it.

“Hey, stranger,” Takasugi coed when he saw him at the street in the middle of the night. It wasn’t exactly an unexpected meeting.

Gintoki looked back, but he had recognised the voice right away. He always did. “You're into playing again?”

“It's been a while,” Takasugi said coming closer. He knew lately everything was becoming tenser between them. Stupid Shinsengumi and stupid morality. Couldn't he turn it off when there were only two of them? They were never righteous, so why he wanted to be like that now? “Stranger,” he teased him with the perspective of the game. “Don't you want to have a bit of fun?”

Gintoki came closer. That was all Takasugi needed. Only a signal to start a game. Or rather… He needed him to hear him, to see him, to notice him… But of course, that was the version that could be never spoken about.

Takasugi pulled him into a back alley. He pushed him against the wall and kissed. It had been too long. Or maybe his body got spoiled so much lately that it couldn’t stop craving more now? Maybe he was breaking apart. More and more. At least he got to mask it with such a sweet taste...

“You really like being watched by everyone, don't you?” Gintoki gasped. He put his hands on Takasugi’s hips. Their bodies leaned into each other.

“I just don't care about anyone.”

“Even about me?” Gintoki smirked.

“Especially you.” Takasugi messily kissed him. He pushed Gintoki back.

“You’re going to torture me today, aren’t you?” he laughed.

“Of course,” he walked away, knowing well that at this point Gintoki wouldn’t let him go away. He would track him to the end of the world. Like a predator got a sight of his victim. But Takasugi wasn’t a victim, that was only a play, luring.

He led him to the brothel. However, when they got to the room, there was a thing that was starting bothering him. But there were always days like this, during the war too. When Takasugi could scent the smell of women on him. He should learn to stop caring about it. It didn't even have to mean anything. At least he could stay quiet about it. Otherwise, he would be laughed off.

“There’s none of your people. No one will come to save you,” Gintoki kept saying.

“I can take care of myself.”

“Really?” Gintoki pushed him on the mattress. He kept his head low, pressed to the ground. “You’re really thinking that.”

“Yeah,” Takasugi panted out. He grinned and kicked Gintoki in his crotch. That immediately helped. “Don’t you ever dare to do something like that.” He leaned to hovering Gintoki. “You should know best that nothing can restrain me. I’ll always find a way to bite.”

“I know.”

“So cut all this nonsense.” Takasugi tugged his hair to raise his head up and kissed him. Oh, he was going to abuse him this night.

He untied his obi and pushed it over Gintoki’s neck. He pulled him closer by it. Then he crossed it. He added more strength. More and more. Until he saw how Gintoki started reaching to the obi. There was little he could do to free himself, but he didn't even struggle much. Maybe that took him to much by surprise.

Takasugi was getting drunk on this power.

He loosened the obi. He only wanted to tease him a bit.

Gintoki coughed heavily. His throat had to be sore. He reached to it to ease the ache. Takasugi covered his hand, and slowly finger by finger pulled him away from it. He put his hand on his throat. He put a bit pressure and felt as Gintoki’s breathed hitched knowing what was coming. Oh, how much he was mistaken. Takasugi gently massaged his neck easing off any pain. He loved seeing that lost gaze in his eyes.

“Thought you want to kill me,” Gintoki chuckled.  
“I wouldn’t be that generous. If I were about to kill you...” Takasugi took his face in his hands. “You would be lying at my feet squirming from pain, begging and begging me.”

“Pretty fantasy you have there. A bit unrealistic.”

“Is it?” He moved closer. His hands found their way on Gintoki’s body. “You liked that,” his hand reached to Gintoki’s aching cock. This time his touch wasn’t meant to bring ease.

“We’re both fucked up at this point,” he chuckled.

Takasugi smirked and took the obi again. Now to bind Gintoki’s arms.

“What? You need to tie me up to fuck me? So insecure?” he teased him.

“Remember that you let me do that.” Takasugi pushed him hard on the floor.

“Could you be a little nicer?

“You didn’t earn it.”

Gintoki only snarled but didn’t pick a fight. Good.

Takasugi took the lube. They were definitely using it too rarely. Gintoki was always too quick to jump on him and too lazy to do anything properly. Now, he was going to learn his lesson. Takasugi took his time. He dragged his fingers in and out. So agonisingly slowly that it was too little stimulation to get off.

“You’re always so slow with everything.”

Oh, Takasugi could keep him like this forever. “Would you prefer me to bruise you? To mark you? To make your body aching for days? I can do that without losing the fun.”

“As always, you’re fucked up psycho,” Gintoki mocked.

He moved his hand along the tensed muscles. Gintoki shivered under his touch. How much Takasugi loved playing with his body. So strong and invincible, but he could make it so weak.

 

* * *

 

_They were arguing about some little thing. Nearly fighting. They stayed alone. No one had force left to deal with them._

_Takasugi fell into the water. It was shallow, but it felt so awful as his wet clothes clung to his skin. He looked up even more mad than he was because of their argument._

_Gintoki stood and watched him. There was something different in the way he looked at him. Or Takasugi had just noticed it. Whatever it was, it made him unconsciously move back a bit._

_Gintoki got closer. He pushed him back to the lake. They both completely fell into it._

_Gintoki kissed him. He was awful at this. It was only like his heads bumped into each other. Takasugi had to show him how to do it better. Or as he thought it should be done. He never… Why was it making his hands tremble a bit? It was nothing. He couldn't let it be noticed. Not by Gintoki._

_He moved closer and pressed his lips gently and Gintoki's. How weirdly squishy this part of them was. But it wasn't unpleasant, not at all. He knew his idea of kissing was far better._

_Takasugi wanted more of it. His hands clenched on Gintoki keeping him close. He couldn't let him get away._

_Gintoki moved a bit closer. He had to like the way Takasugi kissed, cause this time he wanted to repeat it. He wasn't best at being tender. But he was a quick learner and he found his own way._

_Takasugi tried to catch some air, but Gintoki didn't let him even for that. He pulled him back each time. That was better than getting drunk. If only…_

_No._

_That was probably a one-time accident. They would probably never talk about it again. And never do anything like that again. That was how things were usually between them._

_Takasugi pushed him back and walked to the shore. He felt sick. His own skin was annoying. Aching for that bastard’s touch._

_It was only a body sensation. It would soon past. It was nothing._

_Still, it was enerving._

_Takasugi couldn’t do anything about it. So he focused on other annoying sensation. This damn drenched clothes clung to his skin. He tried to take them off. Free himself from at least one of these awful sensations._

_“What are you doing?” Gintoki asked. Was he really a complete idiot?_

_“I'm sick of these clothes. Everything is wet because of you, asshole.”_

_It wasn't like they never see each other naked..._

_He looked at Gintoki._

_It was different. This time it was so much different. He should have known better and left. He stayed. So pathetic. He began to want Gintoki to look at him in this way._

_Gintoki pushed him on the ground. Takasugi fought back, but he couldn’t free himself. Soon his resistance shifted into something completely different. He wanted to have him as close as it was possible. To make their bodies touch as much as it was possible. The fire that was accumulating in them all these years erupted and took control over them._

_Gintoki stopped for a moment. Takasugi wouldn't mind if it went further._

_Though, he would be pretty pissed if they stopped now._

_“What?” Takasugi teased. “Want to settle that brothel incident?”_

_“She wasn't even half your pretty,” Gintoki laughed. He looked over Takasugi. He was liking what he was seeing. How? Takasugi was rather too skinny, getting any muscles was a tough fight, but with broad shoulders, he definitely wasn’t like a woman. So why?_

_Who could know? Gintoki was always fucked up._

_But he was still holding himself back. And, unfortunately, he finally slipt out what was bothering him. “You never slept with anyone...”_

_“Who said that?” Takasugi snarled back. It was only a bluff. He hoped Gintoki would fall for it. He would rather die than admit that his first would be…_

_“So why you didn't sleep with that prostitute?”_

_“Maybe women don't interest me.”_

_“Guys only, huh?” His hand reached Takasugi cock. His body trembled. He didn't expect it. “So what? Some of your subordinates fucked you? For how many guys you spread your legs, ha?”_

_“Like I'm keeping a record.”_

_“So it would be nothing if I took you now?”_

_“It would be nothing.” Takasugi was proud his voice didn't tremble at that moment._

_Gintoki grinned and looked… No longer at him, more like at his body. “I never fucked a guy. But it can't be that different from a fucking a woman.”_

_How was Takasugi supposed to know?_

_Gintoki pushed his head to the ground. “So you don't have to be ashamed of seeing me fucking you,” he said._

_That position was even more shameful. He was manhandled in the worst way. Somehow that was the most arousing thing he had ever experienced._

_It was going to be even worse. He felt as Gintoki’s fingers entered him. The stretch burned. It was going to be far worse._

_“Damn, you’re tight. I'm going to rip you apart.”_

_Takasugi wouldn't mind. He liked how it hurt. It took his attention from what was happening. From facing what they had come to._

_“I'm not that low to fuck anyone that comes across,” Takasugi kept on playing._

_“Really? Cause now you're lower than me.” He took his fingers back. And he pushed his cock in._

_It burnt. It was burning him alive. He dug his fingers deep in the ground. He started to be thankful for this position, it let him hide his face away from anyone’s eyes. Until. Gintoki leaned on him, so their whole bodies were touching. He only moved his hips and by that motion, he was making Takasugi feel too much. He liked it. He liked feeling someone’s weight on him, feeling so full, burning of the stretch. Maybe he was sick. Whatever. It felt so damn good._

_He came. He learnt then how good that felt. Gintoki came in him. That was messy._

_It would be better if Takasugi was left like that. That was only wishful thinking, his last hope to preserve some piece of his dignity. Gintoki turned him around and looked over him. His eyes were glossy from tears, his face probably reddened, lips parted still catching a breath. And since his head was pushed on to grass, that was probably somewhere there too._

_“I've ruined you,” Gintoki said smirking._

_“Fuck off.” Takasugi pushed him back and wanted to get up._

_This strong arms caught him again. “Stay for a moment,” he murmured as he pressed him close. “If anyone sees us and dares to speak about it, I'll kill them.”_

_“Hm,” Takasugi hummed settling in his arms. “You would do something like that for me.”_

_“I have to protect my reputation.”_

_“What your reputation? You're worse than trash.”_

_“And you let that trash fuck you…”_

_“I'm going to kill you if you ever speak about it ever again.”_

_It seemed to be only a one-time thing._

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t a one-time thing.

Although, it was never as stable to be called as any form of relationship. It was rather like a tide. Something that was coming and going away without changing anything. Just something that was letting them forget about all that was dividing them for a moment.

Now after ten years it all came back and flooded them. More than any other time. They had to use it as much as they could. Cause soon the water would back off again and show all the dirt and corpses they wanted to hide.

And they were using this moment of oblivion.

They both were getting close to coming. Takasugi kept for a few moments Gintoki’s cock delaying his release. He would never go easy on him. He loved to hear how pleading Gintoki's moans were becoming.

For a moment he let himself think that he was owning him. Just a little silly thought, he would never voice. And he knew that it would never come to life. So why bother and let himself be laughed off.

He loosened his grip. He touched the most sensitive spot on Gintoki's cock and he teased it as Gintoki was coming.

Takasugi loved making him lose his mind.

He moved closer and kissed him. He ran his fingers through his hair. _Good boy, you endure it all_ , he thought, but he would never say it out loud.

Takasugi reached to untie Gintoki. When he did that, he moved away. He knew staying close could end in being caught in this arms. He stood up and put on his yukata. He didn’t bother with tying it up yet.

He looked at the body he bruised and bitten. That made him smirk. At this moment no one would dare to doubt that he was owning him.

He stopped by Gintoki’s face. He looked down on him. “See. You're lower than me now. How does it feel?”

“Wasn’t I worthless trash to begin with?” Gintoki smirked.

Takasugi thought about leaving. If Gintoki thought he was trash, then it shouldn’t be surprising if he got treated like that. Yet, Takasugi didn’t put this thought in action soon enough.

Gintoki moved closer to him. Maybe because he was tired off after all they’d done, he stayed low. Or this lazy asshole just didn’t feel like standing up.

Gintoki’s tongue ran along his foot.

Takasugi flinched but didn’t move back. That only startled him a bit. But if Gintoki wanted to play like that...

Takasugi stepped on his face to push him back to the floor.

“Still insatiable?” He looked down on him.

“I'm trash. I like lowly pleasures.”

“Why would I be interested then?” he raised his foot a bit letting Gintoki lick the inner side of it. “You think I’m trash like you?

“You seemed to like to play with trash.”

“Maybe I do,” he put his toes in Gintoki’s mouth. He was no longer going anywhere. He got caught up in their never-ending game. He was doomed. Even if he knew he was going to end up in this strong arms again. Even if he knew that all of these would only hurt him again.

 

* * *

 

_Soon after their first time, they went to a brothel. Gintoki picked a girl. He was always acting low. That day it was sickening to watch._

_Takasugi came back to camp. He seduced some random guy and let him fuck him. It was too tender, too slow, too caring. Takasugi wanted a hurricane that would break all these bones, not someone that could treat him like he was fragile. He knew how weak he was, he didn't others to remind him of that. And he didn’t want to play anything safe._

_He wanted to set himself on fire, but there was no one who would watch him burn._

_Gintoki really did ruin him. And he was going to ruin him even more._

 

* * *

 

Takasugi woke up when the rising sun started to slip to the room. That was still probably a two-three hours rest since they had overdone it during the night. He looked at the man sleeping next to him. Takasugi should leave before he woke up. That would be better.

He took his pipe and smoke.

 _Setting himself on fire,_ huh? He wouldn’t do such a dumb thing. Not for that kind of reasons. He would keep his head high and walk full of his pride, so no one would notice how it made him crack.

During the war, they slept a lot with each other. It was always messy and violent. No much different from their fights and arguments. Somehow it turned that way.

They never looked at it as it changed their relationship. They were only sometimes fucking each other.

They were both excellent liars.

Gintoki woke up soon. Maybe bothered by the smoke, but Takasugi didn’t care about his comfort.

“You know that’s bad for health,” Gintoki murmured sleepily.

“Then it has to stand in the line with all other more possible reasons for my death.”

Gintoki murmured something unrecognisable and managed to get up from the futon they were lying on. His body was aching all over. Takasugi was watching that with pleasure.

"Takasugi…” Gintoki turned back to him. How unusual. He was usually the first to get out in situations like this. “Where can I buy a pipe like yours?"  
  
"Why? You don't smoke."  
  
"Maybe I want to give you a gift?"  
  
"You don't have such a soft heart for me."  
  
After a moment Gintoki spilt it out. "I know someone who smokes."  
  
"A woman?"  
  
"Yes."

Of course.

There was always some woman sticking up to him. Making him stink from her scent. Takasugi wanted to taint him with his smell. So anyone who would meet him would know Gintoki was his.

But no matter how much he marked him. People don't feel their own smell.

And so, how would he prevent situations like these from happening? What could he say?

Nothing.

"I’ll give you address," Takasugi forced out of himself.  
  
"She said..."  
  
"I don't care what she said,” that sounded a bit too harsh. He needed to control his voice more. “She will be glad to get it. Especially from you," that sounded too sweet. Mornings weren’t his type of thing.  
  
"I..."  
  
"Don't bother."

But who was actually bothered by it?

Takasugi needed to get himself together. Or this time he would end up crushing beyond repair.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope it all made any sense and I didn't make Takasugi too much vulnerable baby.
> 
> If you liked any of it, comment or reach me out on Twitter @AkikoKitsune. I'm friendly and extremely starved for validation. (Concrits are okay too)


End file.
